Dating somebody from work
One minute he seems like he wants to move the relationship forward & the next minute he’s saying that he’s afraid the mom might try to keep him from the kids.
He seems torn between loving me & the duty to his kids. He believes that if we become more serious that she will make it harder for him to see his kids or try to replace him as a dad.
Let’s suppose you’ve been dating someone for several months, and everything has been moving along well.
The two of you are well matched, laugh at the same things, and enjoy romantic sparks. Should you address the situation, talk it out, and continue with the relationship? Those questions were more than hypothetical for Abby, who had been going out with Tom for six months when he got caught in a lie.
Example, I met him at his mom’s house once and his 4yo daughter was there.
She was very talkative and wanted to show me all her toys. I listen at him vent about his frustrations, I give him his space to spend his days with his kids. Although, there is so much I want to say I know it will only make things worse.
It made me wonder why he would lie about such a little thing and, more importantly, what else he’s lied about.” What would you do if you found yourself in Abby’s shoes? There’s no difference between a “little white lie” and the big black variety.
Other people are willing to consider the circumstances and severity.
When caught in deceit, lots of people’s first inclination is to cover it up with another lie, which can lead to yet another.
Trust can only begin to be rebuilt when your partner admits the mistake and takes responsibility for it.
The point is, it’s up to you to decide where on the Richter scale the lie falls. The best way to avoid future problems is to be direct and straightforward about your expectations.
If your partner isn’t totally committed to regaining your trust and ensuring complete honesty, you need to ask yourself if this is the kind of relationship you want to be in. Give yourself permission to respond in the way you feel is best.