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But military life (and military relationships) seem to move just a little faster and need more planning than others. You will put up with deployment, weird shifts, emergencies, trainings, and a whole bunch of other stuff that will happen at inopportune times and will be the least helpful thing.

If you’re teetering on the edge of this particular path, think through the lifestyle before you jump in: (And don’t date him/her if you believe that “everyone cheats” during deployment.) Period. (So do people in the civilian world.) But that doesn’t mean everyone does, that we all agree with it, or that it’s even the “norm.” You will be separated from the person you love at some point during their career in the military. It’s okay to get frustrated, be angry, and cry, but you’ve got to pick yourself up and move on.

1st Class Chase Usher, who had been serving as the top noncommissioned officer of B Company, 2nd Battalion, 505th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, has been removed from his position leading soldiers and is serving in a staff role, an 82nd Airborne spokesman told Army Times on Tuesday. “Both continue to serve within the division, however, the first sergeant was relieved of his position and currently serves on the staff of a different unit.” By all accounts, an investigation into the affair found, Usher was a high-speed infantryman and the relationship didn’t cause any questions of favoritism in the unit, though the rumors about the two caused a lot of doubt among the soldiers he was meant to lead.

“At multiple safety briefs, [redacted] encourages the company to ‘get [laid]’ or comments that he will be doing so over the weekend; after a company run or before a company rehearsal he has bragged about ‘getting some’ that morning," a soldier said.

Overall, the investigator found that while Usher did not specifically harass junior enlisted personnel, and his relationship with the private was consensual, the rumors about their relationship had a “corrosive” effect on the unit, because of a perception that she was his favorite.

But don’t let the sole reason for committing to someone be because of a deployment. Honestly, I think these are good things to think about before entering into any relationship– no matter the affiliation to the military.

Don’t ever let yourself be pressured into something you don’t want– it will end badly every time. It can mess with your self-esteem and sense self-worth.

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